Women Invented Ultra-Running – A Conspiracy Theory

Less of a blog today and more of a conspiracy theory…

I’m thinking women invented Ultra-Running.

When giving birth, women are potentially subjected to very long periods of relentless pain. There is usually some sort of support available at the time, but in the end, it is up to them to do the work.

Yes, there are things they can do to prepare their bodies for the task at hand, but really nothing can prepare them for such a traumatic and life changing event.

Rarely does the woman escape without some physical marks/damage/evidence of what took place, and there is usually some swearing or at least “unhappy” yelling to be heard.

Quite often there is blood, more often there is sweating, and almost always there is feeling like they are going to be sick.

Their significant other can often be found close by, but they dare not get too close for fear of being yelled at or abused… for various reasons.

The sense of achievement and relief that comes from completing the birthing process is nothing short of remarkable and they will almost definitely be a stronger person once they have gone through it.

Now, you can’t tell me all of that doesn’t sound like running an Ultra-Marathon.

What I reckon is that women created Ultra-Running for one of two reasons:

1)      So that we don’t feel bad about making them go through all that.

2)      To punish us for not being the ones that have to go through all that.

Then of course, there is the fact that women are generally pretty awesome at Ultra-Running and are better equipped to handle it than us anyway.

So guys, if you like running Ultra’s, don’t ever think that your running prowess can be used to impress the ladies. They are genetically designed to withstand that sort of thing without any training at all.

The only chance we have got is to practice being a good support crew.


Run long,

Shaun Brewster.


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